


"Where's Wash?"

by TheQueen



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Season/Series 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 22:32:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3786721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueen/pseuds/TheQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tucker wakes up, his head aching, his mouth tasting of ash and grit and sand and desert and his first thought is of Wash. Wash and two words that make his breath catch and he asks, “Where’s Wash?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Where's Wash?"

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Freckles! Shake!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785962) by [My_Black_Crimson_Rose6](https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Black_Crimson_Rose6/pseuds/My_Black_Crimson_Rose6). 



When Tucker wakes up, his head aching, his mouth tasting of ash and grit and sand and desert and his first thought is of Wash. Wash and two words that make his breath catch and he asks. “Where’s Wash?” Where is he? Why wasn’t he here?

It doesn’t stop.

Every day he wakes up and the question sits at the tip of his tongue. It sits and festers and sometimes he wonders if he’d been better. If he hadn’t argued. If he hadn’t pushed and shoved and refused. If he’d just fucking tried…

And so he tries. He fucking tries.

He tries to train the New Republic soldiers. He tries to get missions done, tries to help Felix get new weapons, new information. And sometimes it works and sometimes he gets two soliders killed because he’s too fucking incompetent to do anything right. And when they finish reporting to Kimball, he storms back to his bunk, ignoring Palomo calling after him—Palomo with his stupid blond hair and stupid freckles and his stupid hero-worship—and kicks the door shut with a bang loud enough to make the rest of the soldiers scarce. And as he pulls of his armor and contemplates getting wasted beyond belief (if he could find the alcohol) he just thinks that if Wash had been there he could have been better. If Wash had been there…

And that’s when Tucker realizes he needs him. The reason why he risks so much (two lives, two people with friends and family and futures and that was on him. He’d made the call. He’d gotten them killed), chases and tries is because Lavernius Tucker, self-proclaimed ladies man and all around badass, needs Agent Washington, mother hen and overall basket case.

He’s never needed anyone before. Not a mother. Not a father. Not a friend. Not a partner. Did he want people? All the time. He wants because he can. He wants lovers and he wants friends and he wants family, but he’s never needed them. He craves people like an indulgence. But there is a first for everything. And it’s been a first for a lot of things recently.

And when Kimball gives them five days to make it work, Tucker knows he can’t fuck this one up. He needs Wash.

…

They get Wash back but not really and there’s no time to even joke “Hey, glad to know you weren't being tortured” because everything is happening too fast and nothing makes any sense.

Because suddenly the universe is flipping upside down and around and the betrayal stings (Felix...that...that...Tucker didn’t have words for what Felix had...and his heart ached for Kimball, who he'd just started to see as less like a general and more like a person. Kimball, who tried more than anyone and who trusted so much because she couldn't allow herself not too). And there’s no time to breath as Tucker tries to find his balance between rage and forgiveness, understanding and hurt and fear before they're given a choice and Wash, the bastard, tries to leave him. Again.

But not this time.

And soon he’s on his knees (and he can almost come up with the energy to murmur Bow Chika Bow Wow as Church groans) with too much blood outside of his body, but he waits until Church hits the wire and he knows Kimball and Palomo (and Palomo, so young, with his stupid blond hair and stupid freckles and stupid, misplaced, hero-worship) and the other’s have a chance of being safe and the mercs are out of the picture before letting himself go because he’s been around Wash long enough to know the danger of dying with someone else in your head.

…

When Tucker wakes up, his everything aches and his mouth tasting of ash and grit and sand and desert (always desert) and his first thought is of Wash. And he asks. “Where’s Wash?”

Someone laughs and it sounds like they’d been crying before there’s a warm hand on his forehead and in his hair and he tries to shake them off (because what was it with people and his hair?) and footsteps before Wash is hovering over him. And he knows its Wash because not even Palomo has that many freckles and he really hopes he’s not saying any of this allowed.

(Somewhere in his mind, Church is laughing and Tucker briefly wonders why he’s still there before he realizes someone is talking.)

“I’m right here…Tucker…” Wash says, and there is an…urgency in his voice, but when isn’t Wash urgent and dramatic and Wash-y? “Tucker can you understand me? I’m right here. Kay? I’m not going anywhere.”

And Tucker searches until he finds Wash’s hands and squeezes before closing his eyes. “Okay.” He says. Okay. Wash is here. Wash is here and he’s okay and that’s good. That’s good.

He can sort out why his heart feels so much lighter later when thinking isn’t so hard. He’d just accepted he needed the bastard. That was enough for now. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by "Freckles! Shake!" by My_Black_Crimson_Rose6 which was inspired by a post by AgentWashington on tumblr:
>
>> I see lots of tuckington fics about tucker’s gay crush for wash but wheres my tuckington fic centered around tucker’s “all i wanted was to talk to my friend and now all i have is you” “…what?” w/ heartbroken gay as fuck wash who has a crush on tucker but would never say anything about it because hes just his leader theyre not even friends he can’t feel that way about one of his soldiers-
> 
> So I wanted to write a story about Tucker realizing he needs Wash a lot more than he originally thinks.


End file.
